The Big Move

I have been struggling to get back into blogging because I feel like I built myself into this little box of strictly “fashion” posts and that you guys, the people who take time to read my blog, came here for those posts and nothing more. I’ve been wanting to write about so much more though. So… I hope that’s okay. If it’s not, I will still have fashion posts here and there so feel free to stick around.
This post is going to be about moving out…all on your own.
I know most of you are probably thinking: been there, done that.
But for me, this is a totally new experience.
I stayed in my hometown for college and lived at home to save money so this is the first time I have ever lived away from my parents AND the first time I have ever lived completely on my own–no roommates.
I must say, it has been quite the learning experience and has changed me in more ways than I think I am even aware of.
Let’s start with the pros:
1. I am in a brand new city.
This is a pro for me for a few reasons. I am in a new place that I get to explore and learn about every single day but I am also in a place where I can essentially start over. No one knows me and I know no one; it’s a blank slate. This might be my favorite part about moving out. I am so happy that I get to shape a new life for myself in a new place.
2. I get to decorate a whole apartment exactly how I want.
This has been SO. MUCH. FUN. My bank account might not be over the moon about it but I sure am. I love getting to express myself through the decorations in my home, it’s the best feeling. If you would be interested in seeing a little apartment tour, let me know! I’d love to show you all what I’ve done with the place.
3. I don’t have to worry about anyone else’s schedule.
I can shower when I want to, play music when I want to, and walk around in my underwear when I want to. What more could I ask for? T-Swift dance parties in my underwear on Saturday mornings have become a tradition and I love it.
4. I am learning to be even more independent.
Anyone who knew me before I moved out was aware that I have always been a very independent person but this trait of mine has multiplied tenfold. It still surprises me sometimes, if we are being honest. Paying bills, grocery shopping, fixing things, installing technology, etc. I’m forced to do it all on my own and while sometimes it is a bit intimidating (ex. taking an uber to the E.R. because I couldn’t drive myself and didn’t have anyone else to drive me), it has made me realize that I am perfectly capable on my own and that I don’t have to rely on anyone for anything: I got this.
5. My mental health is thriving.
Not to drag Bakersfield too hard but it is a black hole. Too harsh? My bad. #SorryNotSorry. While there, I struggled to feel motivated to accomplish dreams of mine and progress in life. Getting out has been one of the best things to happen to my mental health and I honestly can’t stress that enough. Sometimes a break from what you’re used to day-in and day-out is exactly what you need to get better; give it a shot sometime.
The cons:
1. It is really hard being away from family and friends.
I am fortunate to have such a great relationship with my mom but it makes being far away VERY difficult. She is my best friend so not being able to sit on the couch and watch the Bachelor with her is tough but thank goodness for modern technology that allows us to text and call each other. Most of my friends left Bakersfield right after college so I got used to missing them fairly quickly but I made some great friends at my last job before leaving that I miss a ton. I didn’t expect to make friends so quickly and hoped I’d be able to leave Bakersfield without many strings attached but that didn’t work out. It sucks at times but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
2. Life can get lonely sometimes.
I am typically someone who thoroughly enjoys being alone. I like to spend about 90% of my life entirely solo but that last 10%, I really wish I had someone to talk to. The girl who does my lash extensions and my personal trainer get their ears talked off because in those moments, I finally have someone to talk to who kinda has to listen! Haha. I appreciate them a lot because I’m sure my rambling can be a bit much. If you are someone who needs to be around people a lot to be happy, definitely consider a roommate. I have seen plenty of people let their mental health suffer because they are too isolated. Don’t do that to yourself.
3. It ain’t cheap.
Living on your own is not cheap. At all. I have never been great at saving/conserving money (sorry, Mom) but this is something I had to learn rather quickly when I moved out. Once the bills start rolling in and you realize it’s all on you, your brain shuts off the desire to shop pretty quick and you go into survival mode. I’m a penny-pincher now! Haha.
If you have any questions about my experience, definitely reach out. I love getting to share with other people and answer questions. It can definitely be a daunting experience so I’m more than happy provide some insight!
Moving out has helped me grow so much and I am so glad that I can look back at who I was a year ago and not even recognize her. I am becoming more and more like the woman I aspire to be and I am super proud of myself. Heck yes I am going to toot my own horn about this: I am thriving!
Thanks for stopping by and reading this week’s post!
Talk to you all soon. ❤
xoxo,
Hayley
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2018 Highlight Reel

I’m going to start the highlight reel from the middle of the year when things finally started picking up and being a bit happier sooo…May.

Here are 18 highlights from 2018.

Enjoy ❤

1. Got into law school.

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2. Went to Taylor Swift’s reputation Stadium Tour in Pasadena, CA.

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3. Spent LOTS of time in San Clemente with my best friend.

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4. Chopped my hair off. Again.

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5. Took lots of cute pics.

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6. Moved into my new apartment in Salt Lake City.

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7. Started law school.

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8. Got an official headshot taken.

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9. Had my first friend come visit.

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10. Ran my first 5k on Thanksgiving with my best friend.

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11. Ate. A lot.

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12. Made a dope gingerbread house.

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13. Went to the Marine Corps Birthday Ball with my best friend and sister.

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14. Felt like a princess.

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15. Went back to Bakersfield for Christmas.

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16. Had a pajama Christmas party with some of my favorite people.

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17. Went to see the lights at C.A.L.M. with Sadie.

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18. Found myself.

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“You can fail at what you don’t want

so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.”

-Jim Carrey

Here’s to 2019

I have asked myself this question so many times over the past few months:

Why did I stop blogging?
I was so frustrated with my life for the past few months because I could not, for the life of me, find things that made me happy.
And then it dawned on me:
I gave up a HUGE source of my happiness for absolutely no reason.
The worst part? I have no idea why!
So I’m back.
I’m back because writing and sharing my thoughts makes me happy
and if I get to share that with people who enjoy listening,
even better.
Sooo… let’s catch up!
I’M IN LAW SCHOOL.
I know, I know.
If you follow me on any social platform, you’ve heard this news. A LOT.
But I am so happy.
I spent a lot of time wondering if I would ever be able to make it here
so I am over the moon to be able to say this is a goal
that I finally accomplished.
The University of Utah is BEAUTIFUL.
Downtown Salt Lake is so much fun.
I am loving it all and can’t wait to keep exploring for the next few years.
FINALLY WHOLE.
Remember in February I said that 2017 was the worst year of my life?
Can I also include the first half of 2018?
No judgment.
Falling out of love is way harder than falling in it.
What’s interesting about falling out of love though
is it happens the same way you fall into love:
slowly at first and then all at once.
I didn’t think I would ever be able to get through the heartbreak I was experiencing
but then things changed drastically…
and falling out of love became really easy.
When you’re trying to get over someone,
your brain has a tendency to focus on all of the good which is why it hurts so bad.
But when that person shows you that all of the “good” you saw simply isn’t there anymore, it becomes a whole lot easier.
Essentially: the person you fell in love with no longer exists
so there’s no one there for you to be in love with anymore.
And that, my friends, is what we call sweet, sweet freedom.
I am a beautiful, intelligent, comfortable, happy, WHOLE Hayley.
Boy oh boy, does it feel good to say it and finally mean it.
Woo!
So that’s why the first half of this year sucked.
But something about this new city and new experience has me loving life and so eager to leave that version of me and my life behind
and embrace everything I have in this very moment.
BIG NEWS:
I’m writing a poetry book that I’m going to independently publish in a few months!
Super basic. Super cheesy.
But I love to write and love the idea of being able to hold a tangible collection of my writing. Not to mention the fact that I’d love to share it with you all too.
BIG NEWS PT. 2:
I’m going to be starting a podcast with one of my new friends from law school!
While this may not appeal to the masses,
we will be talking about cool/crazy cases we read, relevant news, and hopefully getting around to interviewing fellow classmates and professors.
You’d be surprised at how many cool stories you can get from professors who spent years in the game before deciding to teach!
Definitely stay tuned for that.
Even if you aren’t a law student, you might enjoy a good joke and crazy story time every now and then 😉
Talk about a life update, am I right?
Law student
Finally emotionally available (LOL)
Poet (LOL x2)
Podcaster (LOL x3)
I have a few more tricks up my sleeve
but those will be coming soon 😉
Thank you so much for sticking around, even during my long, unexplained breaks.
I love you all so much for taking the time to read what I write
and can’t wait to share more.
xoxo,
Hayley
“it was so easy to fall in love with you
but so hard to fall in love with myself.
i guess that’s why they say the best things in life don’t come easy.”
{i am head-over-heels in love with me}

-h.e.

Stepping Outside of My Comfort Zone

This post is going to be comprised of quite a few firsts for me.
I have tried to avoid anything too deep or personal on my blog
for a number of reasons.
Yes, I, like many people, am worried about the judgment that may come from sharing my personal thoughts and feelings on my blog but I finally decided that it’s MY blog for a reason and if I want to discuss something.. I should feel comfortable doing so.
So to those of you who are here to read what I have to say and find pleasure in the insights of others, thank you.
I love sharing the inner workings of my brain with people like you.
And for those of you here to tell me I’m wasting my time and that no one cares about what I have to say, thank you. You are only upping my view count 😉
So here we go…
I’m stepping outside of my comfort zone in this blog post to tell you about the ways I have stepped outside of my comfort zone in 2018.
This year is off to a great start and I am excited to share it all with you.
For starters, 2017 was hands down the worst year of my life.
It was full of my lowest lows and deepest sadness…
Someone really close to me enjoys writing poetry and wrote this about me:
She smiles, she laughs, she sings…
but she also cries, sobs, and sleeps.
Her smiles are rays of sun
but only because it’s her way
of screaming for help without making noise.
Reading that was definitely a reality check.
I had let hardships in my life start to affect the person I knew I was at my core and I hated it. I knew I needed to start looking at the areas of my life causing me pain in a different way and learn from them rather than letting them hurt me.
In the end, they taught me so much about myself and I can honestly say that I am beyond proud of the person who came out the other side.
If you know me at all, you know that I have the HARDEST time opening up to people.
(I guess that’s why it has taken me so long
to even post something this personal on my blog.)
I have never been out on a date with someone who I had not previously spent PLENTY of time around as either friends or in a group of people.
Yes, I was in a relationship with a guy for two years
who I never even technically went on a first date with.
I KNOW, CRAZY.
Sooooo, when a week into 2018 a *super* cute guy I had never actually spent time with asked me out on a date, I PANICKED.
Let me tell you, I can put on quite the show and play it off incredibly well…
but on the inside, I was dying.
I suppose he may disagree
buuut…hey, I thought I was as cool as a cucumber.
Everyone always assumes that I am super comfortable in front of other people all the time which, for the most part, is true but there was something about this guy.
He got the best of my nerves and I’m still in disbelief.
ANYWAY,
I took a GIANT leap outside of my comfort zone and you know what?
It was amazing.
I had such a great time and was genuinely happy.
That’s what life is all about, right?
So I will definitely count that as a win.
*Side Note: For those of you who may be wondering, “cute guy” and I have yet to go on a second date but never say never. Ha!
Breaking out of my comfort zone part 1? Success.
Part 2?
Paige and I took a trip to Iceland!
You can read all about the details HERE
but I’ll fill you in on why it was a step outside my comfort zone.
My only trips outside of the country have been to Mexico, Canada and Costa Rica.
If you know anything at all about those three countries, I speak the predominant language in each so I felt at ease.
In Iceland, that was a whole other story.
While most people there did speak English, getting around was TOUGH.
Sometimes questions were lost in translation and the public buses? Don’t even get me started on those. It was so confusing because none of the words made any sense…
but we figured it out!
We made a couple of mistakes along the way but it was all worth it.
10/10 would go back to Iceland.
Part 3?
I am teaching a SPANISH class on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
You read that right: Spanish.
While I have become confident in my abilities and trust that I can at least teach others the bare minimum.. it is still very nerve-racking to stand in front of a group of people and teach a language that you are not fluent in.
I give myself a pat on the back every single day after class.
Go Hayley!
Part 4 is still in the works.
Most of you may not know but I am actually in the process of applying to law school.
I know, a rather last-minute decision especially considering I got a degree in biology.
With that in mind AND the fact that I will be moving out of my house and living on my own in a matter of months, I’m going to count that as breaking out of my comfort zone too. I will be sure to keep you posted on how it goes.
With all of that being said,
I have to tell you that doing things that make you uncomfortable are the BEST.
I recently started watching the channel “Yes Theory” on YouTube and I am completely inspired by their desire to do things that make them uneasy. Their motto is “Seek Discomfort” and I’ve decided to adopt that saying to help push me in a direction that is helping me grow.
So do something that scares you!
It’s a rush and takes a lot of convincing…
but the sense of accomplishment you feel once it is all over is UNREAL.
Give it a shot and let me know how it goes for you.
I can’t wait to let you all know what I get up to next.
­
xoxo,
Hayley
Yet another side note: do you guys like these posts that are more conversational than fashion/photo oriented? I know I didn’t include any photos in this post so I’m wondering if that makes it less entertaining. Feel free to send some feedback my way!
To live greatly, we must develop the capacity to face trouble with courage, disappointment with cheerfulness, and triumph with humility.
Thomas S. Monson